It's not selfish to have your own back!

Hello everyone! It has been far too long, again! I hope you are all enjoying the start of the summer months and feeling good about everything going on with you.

 As some of you may know, I am currently in the final weeks of my university degree, and I am more stressed than Kim Kardashian stuck in economy class on a long haul flight! I feel completely overwhelmed and anxious, but if I keep my head down and keep talking to my loved ones, I should be able to make it to the other side. If anyone else is in the exam period at school/university and is currently reading this: keep going! You have the power and the brains to get through this and I believe in you!

However, this post is in fact not about stress (for once!). Recently I have been reflecting on life events during my degree, and I have realised that one of the most important lessons you can learn whilst growing up is to have your own back. Sure, it is, of course, great to support and be loyal to others, but don't forget that you are your own most precious and powerful tool. You never need to ask or search for validation for the feelings you experience, whether they are positive or negative. If you feel like you have been wronged, or someone has been taking you and your values for granted, don't try and play it down. If you are feeling hurt, sad, angry or just confused, chances are that there is a valid reason why you are experiencing these emotions.

The reason I am saying this is because I feel like I have experienced these type of situations a lot throughout my life, where people – or situations – have worn and burned me out so much, and I always blame it on myself. It’s like people just assume that because I’m the person I am, they can say and do what they like, with no chance of experiencing any sort of repercussion. Of course, I am talking about 0.5% of everyone that I know, and that the majority of people that I have met in my life have been kind, friendly and extremely talented. However, I guess that now I am starting to enter the later stages of my youth, I am adding up all these incidents with people from the 0.5%, and I have come to the scary realisation that this has happened far too much to me in my life and that I need to put my foot down when the time asks for it.

I also feel like it’s important to say that I’m not going to turn into a raging insult-wielding meanderthal any time soon – at least not before I hand in my dissertation! – as I still want to do my best to be kind and good to people. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be firm and strong underneath too. My dad always used to say to me: “Speak gently but carry a big stick”, and I finally understand what he means by that now. You can stand up for yourself and lay down the law without being an asshat!

So, if anyone is reading this and is feeling hurt, angry, stressed, anxious, sad or heartbroken in some way, know that this won’t last forever, I promise. I mean, I am no oracle or anything, but I do hold in complete confidence that you will see the light again. You are a badass, independent and strong human, and the rest of your life is waiting for you to grab with both hands and feet! And when you ever feel any of these feelings stated above, know that there is nothing wrong with feeling like this and that your feelings are completely valid. Whether you know why you are feeling like this or maybe you have no idea where these feelings came from, know that this will soon become another step along your journey up, over and above into what lies beyond.

All the love,

E x